Sunday, December 16, 2007

Bozic, jelka, gift baskets




Pocela sam da kriziram kada sam shvatila da nije tako jednostavno naci providni celofan. Isla sam u tri radnje i nisam mogla da ga pronadjem. Ivan preporucuje da ih zapakujem u obican sjajni papir sa masnom. Kaze:"Zasto svako mora da vidi sta je u kropi". Ja se neckam, ali kako stvari sada stoje, izgleda da ce to biti resenje.

Danas nema nista od trazenja celofana: napadalo je pola metra snega. Nije previse hladno, samo minus tri i winchill minus pet, pa mozda jedna setnjica ne bi bila na odmet.

Sreca te je danas nedelja, da je kojim slucajem ponedeljak, ne znam kako bih isla na posao.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Pred sneznu oluju u Torontu




Sinoc su najavili da se sprema prva prava snezna oluja. Kazu bice 30 cm snega. Preporucuju da se kupovina obavi danas, jer ce sutra grad biti zatrpan snegom. Ja razmisljam sta mi je ciniti. Dok razmisljam sta mi je ciniti, gledam slike koje sam pravila letos u Beogradu. Go figure:)

Verovatno mi je zanimljivije da se secam, nego da razmisljam sta sve treba da nabavim danas za "gift baskets" koje planiram da napravim za uciteljicu, i drugo osoblje u skoli ( Aleksandrovoj skoli ). Vidim sneg je vec poceo da provejava, valja se obuci i krenuti u guzvu predbozicnog ludila. Pre nego sto vrag odnese salu, i ne budem mogla taj vazan posao nabavke da zavrsim ovog vikenda, moram da se nateram da se obucem! Ukoliko taj vazan posao ne budem zavrsila danas, necu imati vremena nista od planiranog da uradim ( sledece nedelje, tek ce onda da me mrzi da idem u kupovinu).

Na brzinu se vracam Beogradu. Evo jos jedna fotografija, i onda, obecavam, idem da se obucem, i idem da kupujem sastojke potrebne za "gift baskets". Mozda cu da ih uslikam i ovde postavim, cisto da ne ostane zaboravljeno koliko sam se trudila:)

Dakle, Beograd, leto 2007:

Friday, August 24, 2007

Toronto -- povratak

Evo me nazad u Torontu. Ispratila me je beogradska zora, a docekalo rano poslepodne u Torontu i i aerodromsko osoblje, uglavnom induskog porekla. Oduvek me je to najvise nerviralo kada sletim u Toronto, a ne bih bas tacno znala da kazem zasto. Autoput 401 je opet zakrcen, ali na njemu se trake ne udvostrucuju, iako ih ni ovde ponekada nema dovoljno.

Beograd -- prelomljen kroz prizmu secanja, ponekada se delici sloze u predivnan dizajn. Ipak, najjaci osecaj je tuga.

Jedan novobeogradski bulevar, potpuno nebitan, nosi ime Zorana Djindjica. Zgrada bivseg CK je postala crni soliter, koji bas onako ruzno strci na sred novobeograske ledine. U kafani Kajak muskarci se penju na sto i igraju. Kontejner na sred gradske ulice. Pasa lutalica samo onoliko, a populacija ce biti uvecana za sest stenadi rodjenih ovog leta u bloku 28. Kuce od kartona i blata. Staklena zdanja novih kompanija. Oronule fasade. Imena banaka koje ne znamo da izgovorimo. Grafiti, grafiti, grafiti. Muzika tresti sa splavova. Reklame i bilbordi. Beograd najlepse izgleda se reke!!! Ili u secanju nas koji ga nosimo u srcu.

Secam te se rado voljeni grade.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Evo me u Beogradu

I? Utisci? Na zalost Beograd vise nije svet, ali jeste i dalje najlepsi grad na svetu. I zatvaram oci pred cinjenicom da je postao umoran i oronuo, da je poprimio lazni sjaj novog bogatstva, da mu je dugogodisnje vadjenje duse ostavilo mnogobrojne i trajne oziljke.

I dok ja ovde pisem o gradu kao o zivom bicu, pre nego sto postanem nesnosno pateticna, da spomenem da sam fascinirana sposobnoscu vozaca u ovom gradu da od dve trake na autoputu naprave cetri, da se parkiraju na najnemogucijim mestima pobedjujuci zakone fizike i mehanike, da se svi voze, a da je pri tome benzin toliko skup da meni postaje potpuno nejasno kakav je to finansijski perpetum mobile prisutan na ovim prostorima. I pisala bih jos, i jesam, i brisala sam, jer cista emocija nije dobar saradnik u pisanju.

I sto rece Balasevic: sve prave ljubavi su tuzne, pa tako i ova moja prema Beogradu, gradu iz kojeg svaki put odem slomljenog srca, jer ne mogu vise da ga zovem svojim, gradu koji sam dobrovoljno napustila, ali nevoljno otisla, koji je za mene zauvek izgubljen, a tako potreban.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

...this is to have succeeded...

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social recognition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) American Essayist & Poet

O naciji

Iluzorno je sada raspravljati da li je postojanje nacija dobro ili lose. Umesto toga treba se zapitati, zasto neki ljudi odluce da stave naciju iznad svega, i izgube vezu sa stvarnoscu.

To se upravo desilo Srbima u poslenjih dvadesetak godina, a uveliko je potpomognuto huskanjem bas onih koji bi trebalo da budu glas razuma - srpskim intelektualcima. I to je najveci problem kod Srba danas, jer svi znamo da od "glave riba smrdi". Bas ti srpski intelektualci su svesno ili nesvesno (zlo)upotrebili naciju zarad promovisanja anahronih ideja i ideala koje su mnoge uzaludno kostale zivota. Totalno je besmisleno da se neko u danasnje doba "bori protiv Turaka", a upravo to su Srbi radili u Bosni, a Turci tu ne zive vec odavno.

Isto tako je totalno besmisleno da se drzavna politika na Kosovu gradi oko srednjovekovnih manastira, i da se zbog njih ratuje ( paradoks je jos veci jer u tom ratovanju bas ti manastiri zbog kojih se ratuje bivaju unisteni!!), a ne nekim savremenijim metodama, kao sto su pregovori i dogovori.Sve u svemu prostituisanje ideje nacije je Srbe u poslednjih dvadesetak godina kostalo zivota i zivota. Nesaglediva steta je napravljena, i zahvaljujuci sacici onih koji su imali i imaju monopol nad pisanom i izgovorenom reci u Srbiji, ono cime su se Srbi nekada ponosili vise ne postoji.I ja bih volela da pitam Matiju Beckovica sta tacno znaci "Ceracemo se jos", i njegova crtica u nekakvoj knjizi posvecenoj Kosovu sa kraja osamdesetih, gde on opisuje kako je celo Kosovo srpski grob, a grob je za Srbe svetinja, pa stoga Srbi sa Kosovom ne mogu da trguju. Da li mozda zna koliko je ljudskih zivota kostalo ovo baljezganje?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Good Luck Graham, I will miss you

Yesterday was Graham's, our Call Centre Manager, last day with the company. I became very emotional about his departure. As if somebody who is very close to me was leaving for a long trip somewhere far away. I was crying.

I was crying because it is not so often that you meet people you work with that you can truly respect. I was also crying because Graham had a rare gift of never hiding the child inside of him: he was spunky and funny. He likes Spiderman, and he was not shy about setting a small Spiderman shrine in the corner of his office. Other managers tried to copy him by proclaiming Superman or Star Track to be their super heroes, but it was a fake. Graham was genuine about everything he was doing.

On his last day on job, management organized farewell party and named it a "festivity". There was nothing festive about Graham leaving. It was, in fact, very, very sad: I personally saw him couple of times on the verge of tears.

I can trace my attachment to him to the time when I just started working with the company: it was in January of 2004. He greeted my group of new employees and he was a blast. I remember we were laughing and had fun with him, and that first positive impression had a long lasting impact on my perception of the company. Almost because of him, and for him, it was not hard for me to endure hours on the phone with, sometimes, demanding and angry customers. I knew that by doing my job the best I could, I would live up to the high standards and expectations that defined Graham's work ethic, and deserve his respect.

Now he is gone. It will be very hard, I would say almost impossible to recreate that kind of spirit without him. I, personally, will never forget him, and will forever be grateful for his guidance in how to get a real kick out from being nice over the phone to the customers. That is what I learned from Graham Leah-The Corporate Spiderman.

Good luck to you Spiderman, and remember with great powers come great responsibilites.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Odlozena emisija

Emisija B92 Istrazuje u kojoj je trebalo da ide prilog o Dadi Vujasinovic je odlozena posle pretnji Bratislava Grubacica da ce tuziti B92 ukoliko budu prikazali taj prilog. Postavljam pitanje: kako je moguce da je taj covek tako mocan da moze da odredjuje uredjivacku politiku jedne nezavisne televizije? I da li je ta televizija stvarno "nezavisna"? Ko je u stvari Bratislav Braca Grubacic i ko stoji iza njega?

Naravno da ne ocekujem da ce mi iko odogovoriti na ova pitanja. Ona ipak ostaju zabelezena ovde, kao opomena, kao znak vremena, kao nesrecna okolnost nas koji smo sticajem okolnosti zrtve delovanja zlocinacke organizacije sa nadimkom UDBA.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Death of journalist

Today is 13 years since untimely death of Serbian journalist Dada Vujasinovic. She devoted her life to investigative journalism in its finest form. In spite of her sacrifice, Serbia today does not recognize her as a hero. She became more a mere newspaper title in the topic about how her death remains a mystery to this date. If there will be renewed investigation, this time around it has to be done properly. Suicide with hunting rifle, with heart wound, with crime scene that screams that there was a fight, does not sound right. Especially in case of somebody who dared to question motifs of warlords!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Zoran Djindjic/Sutra se navrsava cetri godine od njegove smrti...

Na zalost, nisam imala prilku da cesto slusam Zorana. Kazem na zalost, jer je bio sjajan govornik. Izrazavao se koncizno, smisljeno, sve sto je izgovorio imalo je smisla i bilo je povezano sa temom o kojoj prica. Iz svake njegove recenice i pokreta je bilo jasno da se radi o, ne samo obrazovanom coveku, nego i produhovljenom coveku ( prava retkost za nekoga ko se bavi politikom!).
Secam se, cini mi se da je to bilo 1997-me ( mozda nisam u pravu, neka oni koji znaju godinu, slobodno isprave), slusala sam Zorana na nekoj od televizija, kako objasnjava zasto je vazno da se dozvoli uvoz polovnih autobusa za GSB. Kao i uvek, "pravo u sridu", objasnio je da ti autobusi nisu neko "staro gvozdje", nego da zbog toga sto u tim zapadnim zemljama odakle autobusi dolaze, standardi odredjuju da posle izvesnog vremena autobus biva otpisan, iako je jos uvek u dobrom voznom stanju, da mi to mozemo da iskoristimo i poboljsamo gradski prevoz u Beogradu.
Tada je Zoran bio gradonacelnik Beograda, cini mi se. Lepo se videlo da je to covek koji voli svoj grad i ljude u njemu.
Ne mogu da se setim da li su napokon autobusi uvezeni ili nisu: tada kada se Zoran obracao javnosti, autobusi su bili zaustavljeni na granici zbog nekakvih carinskih zavrzlama ( citaj SPS-ovska ujdurma...).
Sticajem okolnosti, 12. marta 2003-ce sam bila u Berlinu. Neverovatna i tragicna vest da je Zoran Djindjic ubijen u Beogradu me je duboko i licno pogodila. Zoran je bio veoma cenjen u Nemackoj, ne samo zato sto je bio "njihov student", nego zato sto je to drustvo koje zna da prepozna i ceni coveka njegovog kalibra. Slusala sam ga kako u jednoj emisiji vodi jednako elokventan razgovor na nemackom, kao da govori maternji jezik.
Znam da u Srbiji postoji jos uvek relativno mali broj ljudi koji istinski shvata da je pucanj u Zorana bio pucanj u buducnost Srbije.
Sto se Zorana tice, on je ostao u Srbiji znajuci za opasnosti, ali je verovao da je sve to vredno njegove zrtve.
Da li Srbija danas opravdava Zoranovo poverenje da njegova zrtva nije uzaludna?

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Mad World

Mad World

Yesterday's highlight was so called IPRC ( Identification, Placement, Review Committee). It was held at 2 40 at my son's school. Before going there, I looked at some papers from previous years, confident that nothing would surprise me. After all, he is 12 going onto 13, and I have been in the system for long enough to develop a thick skin.

Not so fast!

There was four of us: the Principal, the homeroom teacher, the lady from the School Board, and myself. Right at the beginning I was told that they were running late, and that there is almost no time to discuss Aleks' needs with me. Almost like: you came just to sign the paper that you agree here with what we say. I could not stop my heart from pounding because of such a hypocrisy. I had to say, I had to mention, and I did: how come there is not one soul in this school who is interested to be with Aleks, to help him learn social skills. Silence. How about the drama class from last Thursday, when he was excluded from the group activities when no group wanted him there? How come the drama class teacher did not intervene and explain to everyone that it is not alright to exclude a person just like that? How about not recognizing the talent Aleks has for drama, and set him for success and not failure?

The principal was not amused with what I had to say. Her answers were more like: we cannot have other kids involved in teaching Aleks social skills ( wow, how will he ever learn if he is not given even a chance to participate in a simple structured class activity, with supposedly close supervision of teacher). Then she went on how this school's philosophy is basically inclusion of everyone regardless of their looks, background, or any other characteristic that makes some children to be different ( is it really?).She also added that she does not expect her drama teacher, who was hired to teach drama, to get involved in helping a child such as Aleks, because the teacher is not trained to do that.

How about showing interest, how about being curious and learn, I said. Had not the drama teacher learnt more about children such as Aleks, not because he had been told, or expected to do so, but because he was in such a noble profession that entails doing things that he was not maybe always paid or trained to do, but is doing them anyway because he understood the responsibility of raising each and every child that comes across his way.Or maybe, a person who is not willing to accept all the children with having abilities, rather than disabilities, should not be a teacher? I had so many questions on my mind, but none were answered, and I am sure they will not be answered. Nor my question about how somebody who is trained to work with children does not have a basic ability to recognize talent in a child? Aleks, in spite of his lack of more sophisticated social skills, and in spite of his slight speech impediment, is a very expressive, very emotional, very talented for art, including music, acting, and painting.

To illustrate this further, I will tell you that the last night, Aleks also performed at school's biggest fund raising event: Cabaret 2007. He accompanied himself on the piano singing the song: Mad World. The song was his choice, and I encouraged him from the day one. Singing this song, and being so confident on the stage, in spite of the fact that he was performing for his peers, who even do not want to share few moments in the school yard with him, was one of his small victories in this mad world where his abilities are mistakenly called disabilities, and where he will have to fight every inch his way to find his proper place.

Shame on you Mr. Drama Teacher that you cannot recognize what a gem you have in your class!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Zavicaj

Oduvek sam zavidila ljudima koji su se rodili, ziveli i umrli na jednom mestu. Oni nisu ni znali sta je "zavicaj". Njihov zivot je bio povezan sa zivotom njihovih predaka. Negde na tavanu su bila sakrivena ljubavna pisma dede babi, ili neki stari kisobran, ili kovceg sa cipkanom haljinom prabake. Nije bilo rata da sve to unisti, iseli, iskoreni. Zivot je bio jednostavan. Nije bilo patnje za nestalim ili postojecim zavicajem.Kada pocnes da pricas o zavicaju, jer tamo nisi vise, neminovno pocinjes da izmisljas kako je to nekada bilo dobro.

Za to postoji i biolosko objasnjenje. Nase rane emocije smestene negde u amigdali, postaju sve nepristupacnije nasoj racionalnoj svesti sto postajemo stariji. Ali zato neki miris, ukus, moze da izazove buru secanja, koja tako "needitovana" salju informaciju nasem svesnom mozgu da je to nesto fenomenalno, i da to fenomenalno nesto postoji samo u nasem zavicaju koji ima taj miris i ukus.Sta bi bilo kada bi mogli da "reprogramiramo" tu riznicu secanja, zakopanu negde duboko nesvesnom delu mozga, sa novim mirisima i ukusima, pa da nas taj zamisljeni zavicaj ostavi da zivimo na miru, kada vec ne mozemo da zivimo u njemu.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Secanje na Dadu

Danas je Dadin rodjendan.

Sveca pored njene slike, secanje na njene reci, tupi bol zbog njenog nestanka, nostalgija za danima kada smo delili ovozemaljski zivot, tuga zbog odlaska Coveka koji je imao Dusu.

Dado, nedostajes mi. Voli te tvoja sestra Sandra.



Jedna od Van Gogovih zvezda u zvezdanoj noci je Dada.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkvLq0TYiwI&mode=related&search=

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

It is -30 and I do not know French

It seems that it takes the whole family to do the homework. Aleks waited until last moment to finish his French assignment. He has to write the radio announcement about a song, and to include the CD cover, and possibly bring some props, and make an instrument for his presentation. He had more than two weeks, but it seems that we are doing it last minute...

Ivan is helping him to polish his sentences for the announcement. I am sitting here, and cannot wait for them to finish so that we can go to YMCA. I will walk a thousand of miles on that treadmill tonight.

It is very very cold. I hope that this cold weather will go away by Thursday when I am going to volunteer to go with Aleks' school to the ski trip.

It is -30, and I do not know French!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Tai Chi

Recently I have become interested in an ancient Chinese martial art Tai Chi.

There are different styles of Tai Chi, and the class that is offered through my local YMCA is Tai Chi Sword. Yesterday I attended the class, and it was too advanced for me. I tried my best, and at times, when I was in sync with the soft Chinese music played in background, and when my steps and body movements were correct, I felt so light. The arm movement, that represents sword techniques, looks like easy when you watch somebody else doing it.

When you try doing it yourself, you will find out, that the lightness of the movement comes from the body flexibility and strength, that is acquired though repetition of the movement and overall preparedness of one's body to do this type of physical activity.

I love it.

Please see this link to get an idea how it looks like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQGvm-7WYFY