Thursday, November 20, 2008

Kraj proizvodnje Juga


Trebalo je videti moju iznenadjenu facu kada sam jutros na putu ka poslu, u sabveju u Toronto Staru procitala da se Jugo vise nece proizvoditi u Kragujevcu. Kao prvo, ja sam mislila da je Jugo odavno vise ne proizvodi, i kao drugo saznanje da ce prestati da se proizvodi izazvalo je u meni neki cudan osecaj da, eto i taj poslednji proizvod drzave u kojoj sam rodjena vise nece postojati.




Tekst je napisan duhovito: zasto Jugo ima grejace na zadnjim prozorima, da se ogreju ruke dok ga gurate; sta su amortizeri na Jugu, njegovi putnici; i tako dalje. Iako se Jugo prodavao u Americi po ceni od 3990 dolara, i iako je ostao zapamcen kao najlosiji automobil svih vremena ( pa sta bi hteli za te pare!!!), ja sam, ipak nekako tuzna sto se Jugo vise ne proizvodi. Kazu Fijat je otkupio Zastavu i pravice Fijat Punto. Sigurna sam da ce se na prostorima bivse Jugoslavije jos dugo kotrljati Jugo u obiliku raznih krntija i dokazivati Amerikancima da je vaznije imati dusu nego pare.
Ziveo Jugo!!!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Pad Krajine

4. avgusta 1995. sam bila u Beogradu. Secam se jasno da ni jedna televizijska stanica nije prenela vest da su se hiljade izbeglica iz Krajine slile u Srbiju. Izasla sam na autoput Beograd-Zagreb i nemo posmatrala nepreglednu, dugacku kolonu traktora. Nigde nikoga. Ceo Novi Beograd cuti. Sakrio se iza spustenih roletni. TV Pink ima odlican program: Ceca i Jelena, Pivo se hladi u frizideru. Kolone: cega, kakve kolone?, neki su me pitali. Ja sam totalno "pala u nesvest" kada mi je neko rekao da je sve to "njihova krivica" i da mi sa tim nemamo nikakve veze. To sto su oni dosli u Srbiju, na takav nacin, je valjda bila planirana turisticka poseta, u Milosevicevom aranzmanu.

Prvo sam mislila: dacu pare. Pa sam krenula autom po autoputu, ali to se pokazalo komplikovanijim nego sto sam ja zamisljala. Kolona je i dalje tuzno prolazila: sporo i naprono putovanje se nije zavrsavalo u Beogradu. Na izlazu sa Gazele je stajao policajac, koji traktorima nije dozvoljavao da skrenu sa autoputa. Mogli su samo napred, agonija se nastavljala, Beograd ih nije hteo.

Otisla sam u radnju: kupila hranu za bebe, pelene, spakovala nesto decije garderobe, i odnela sve u Crveni Krst. Uopste nisam bila uverena da ce sve to sto sam odnela stici do onih kojima sam ja to namenila. Atmosfera mracna da mracnija ne moze da bude. Svi se prave ludi, kao da se nista ne desava. Ja pocnjem da mislim da sa mnom nesto nije u redu. Moja bivsa svekrva mi to potvrdjuje. Ona volontira u Crvenom Krstu, i tvrdi da su svi dobili po veknu hleba!!!! I sta se ja tu sada petljam u nesto sto se mene uopste ne tice. Ima ko da vodi racuna o situaciji. Ja bolje da gledam svoja posla. Da nisam lepo vaspitana, svasta sam htela da joj kazem u vezi vekne hleba i situacije. Ali ona nije bila jedina. Svi, ali svi do jednog su se pravili blesavi. A ja, ja sam polako pocela da se osecam kao totalni stranac.

Pad Krajine, i patnja naroda u koloni, ucinila je da se mentalno totalno odvojim od Srbije, i da nikada vise ne pomislim na nostalgican nacin o Beogradu. Njegovi stanovnici, bez trunke empatije, bez trunke ljudskog saosecanja, bez trunke kajanja, bez trunke plemenitosti, su me zauvek izgubili.

I to nista nikada nece moci da promeni!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Radovan Karadzic

Recently I had a conversation with a Sarajevo siege (1992-1996) survivor. She vividly remembers snipers, constant shelling, some moments when she was not sure whether she should wait for death to come to her, or go towards it. In those moments, while deciding “to go, or not to go” outside, she was counting on her intuition. That was all she had to defend herself from the monsters on the hills.
Only a few days ago, and after 13 years in hiding, one of the most notorious perpetuators of some of the worst crimes against humanity, including the siege of Sarajevo, indicted war criminal Radovan Karadzic, was arrested in Belgrade. Living an inconspicuous life of an ordinary citizen, he was climbing the ladder in alternative medicine world, where he was accomplished member of the community. Nobody, even his closest friend, and neighbours, did not know who was hiding behind the “Santa Clause” beard.
Ironically, he already had been thought of as Santa Clause once before. It was in the interview that he gave to late Serbian journalist Dada Vujasinovic. This somewhat prophetic interview was published in Belgrade magazine “Duga” in November of 1992.
Long before the full impact of Radovan Karadzic actions were known to the world, and while he was still able to travel abroad, and attend international meetings on Bosnian war, Vujasinovic was able to paint a portrait or Radovan Karadzic as the politician, poet and psychiatrist, who was not shy to think of himself as a rebel from the mountains (hajduk), who was “creating a brand new state”. But when he decided not to be a “hajduk” anymore, Vujasinovic describes him as Santa Clause (Deda Mraz) who was willing to give some territories, held by Serbs, to Bosnians. He claimed at the time, that Serbs were in possession of 70 percent of territory in Bosnia, and they were willing to give back 20 percent. Vujasinovic was contemplating on this seemingly generous behavior: was it “generosity”, or sense of reality? After all, Serbian people constituted one third of population that was holding onto two thirds of territory, and Karadzic would have had a legitimate concern about how to keep those territories. But in Karadzic’s world there was little place for reality.
This depression prone man was already devoted to the idea of the “Great Serbia” that was masterminded in Belgrade. He was so convincing that, even in his doctor’s office, while treating others for depression, he would spread the ideas about Serbian “uebermensh”. Soon he started touring Bosnia and promoting the idea of Serbs as people who need to defend themselves lest history be repeated. Reminding Serbian people in Bosnia and Herzegovina of unthinkable atrocities committed in WWII by Ustashe (extremist Croatian army) who tortured and murdered thousands of Serbs, either in concentration camps, or by slashing their throats and throwing them in pits, became the tool to organize his followers, and fasten the nationalistic rule. He enlisted “help” from clergy of the Serbian Orthodox Church to organize proper burial of the victims of one of Ustashe’s atrocities in the tiny village of Prebilovci in Herzegovina, although in the fifty years following WWII the very same church showed little or no interest in commemorating the victims. “Ironically”, Dada Vujasinovic wrote, “this event, that was supposed to be dignified, turned out to become somewhat like a village fair.” Nevertheless, the goal was accomplished, and Radovan Karadzic “scored” more points in the world of those who glorified the martyrdom of the innocent Ustashe victims by using it to stir nationalistic and chauvinistic feelings. Later, these feelings will be used as a weapon to commit more crimes and to cause more deaths.
But the profile of Radovan Karadzic would not be complete if we did not mention his literary carrier. The self-proclaimed poet, as Vujasinovc wrote, was mediocre in his endeavors. Verses such a s: “He is lying now dead as such sheep’s skin, murdered without bullet or knife” were showing that his poetry lacked the depth and significance of great poets, and he was probably aware of that, somewhat like Salieri’s awareness of Mozart greatness. Nevertheless, Karadzic was not the kind of man who would admit that anything that he did was unacceptable, including his poetry, siege of Sarajevo, or how he treated his patients. Even to this day, he does not seem to show any remorse or feeling of guilt for the horrible atrocities committed under his rule.
Dada Vujasinovic wrote in the conclusion of her interview: “Time will show whether Karadzic chose the correct way to ‘protect’ his people, as well as whether he will be “hajduk”, Santa Clause, statesman, or something else”.
She did not know at that time, in 1992, but she was right: he became “something else”, an indicted war criminal.




About Dada Vujasinovic, author of “Hero of the wolf times” an in-depth interview with Radovan Karadzic, published in Belgrade magazine Duga, in November 1992.

Dada Vujasinovic was born in 1964 in former Yugoslavia. She became reporter with Belgrade magazine Duga in 1990. In her short, but turbulent carrier as a war reporter she was able to produce series of unbiased articles on the war in Croatia and Bosnia, and interviews, among which are two interviews with Radovan Karadzic: one in 1991 and second in 1992. She was also known as an investigative journalist, probing the connection between the war and criminals in Serbia. She was murdered in Belgrade in 1994. Her death was officially ruled by Milosevic regime as “suicide”. Recently new evidence was provided that undoubtfully point to murder. Investigation into her death was reopened several times in last 14 years, but no official results have not been published so far.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Graduation


Aleksandar is now graduate of Grade school. The name of his school is Bessborough Public School. It is more than 70 years old. Aleksandar attended Bessborough since he was grade 4. It is all together 5 years. The longest period that he belonged to one community. He was excited about graduation, and about the dance after. The dance was organized in the place called "Loots" on Bayview Avenue. When I came to pick him up, his tie was in the pocket of his jacket, that we had to look for, since he forgot where he left it. Well, just not used to wearing a jacket. He also thought that he lost the cell phone, but he did not. Everything was alright. He asked Taylor to dance with him. At first she said: Later, and then she said: No. I told him to keep on trying. One day the girl will dance with him, I am sure. But, for now, it must be very disappointing for him to encounter rejection from the girl that he really likes. We all know how it feels. Still, I try to instill in him: keep your friends close, but your family closer.

Congratulations Aleks!!!!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Aleksandar

Why I am proud to be Aleksandar’s mother:

Because Aleksandar is generous and kind
Because he always tries hard to do his best
Because Aleksandar genuinely cares about those less fortunate than him
Because he is sincere and honest
Because he will go places
Because he is easy going and witty
Because he is my only son and I will always remember
How happy I was when I saw him for the first time.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL, SMART AND WONDERFUL SON!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Beograd, februar 2008.

...Odrasli u bedi i porazu, pijanstvu, tuci i zlostavljanju, u gadostima i ocaju koji su svakodnevno ruzili povesti krezubih staraca o vremenu ponosnih ratnika, o mitskom dobu vraceva koji su krotili kosmicku silu po imenu wakana i jahali na njenim talasima, ogorceni beskrajnim osluskivanjem sina koje nikada nisu nosile kompoziciju punu duhova osvetnika, mladici su bili lak plen za sumanute ideje vraca Zute ptice. Zuta ptica, po svoj prilici vest demagog i madjionicar solidnih sposobnosti, uspeo je da ubedi nekolicinu snaznih i ne bas promocurnih momaka da ih ezotericna varijanta plesa duhova oblaci u narocite kosulje, nevidljive "duhovne kosulje", tajno oruzje Sijuksa. Duhovne kosulje brzo su usle u modu, formirala se kriticna masa sledbenika. Ako nemas duhovnu kosulju, govorilo se, ti nisi nikakav Sijuks, ti si obicna jegulja. U narednoj fazi organizovao je odrede nepobedivih ratnika koji su verovali da im puske ne mogu nista. Cak su i stari, mada nisu odbravali vraceve lazi, govorili da mozda nema niceg loseg u tome da ljudi ponovo osete gordost Sijuksa, da pronadju pricu koja ce im dati snagu. U pricama se, govorili su, krije velika moc. I bili su u pravu.

Jer dogodilo se tako da je vest o ratnim igrama grupe mladih Indijanaca 1890. stigla do neke izovlovane jedinice americke armije,------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------kada su kod Ranjenog kolena naisli na Zutu pticu i njegove ratnike ( u nevidljivim duhovnim kosuljama), zapucali su bez suvisnih pitanja. Sijuksi su srljali na kursume, verujuci u magiju svog vraca. Poginulo ih je vise od dve stotine.

Iz knjige "Kisa i hartija" Vladimira Tasica

Saturday, February 9, 2008

10. februar 2008





Danas je Dadin rodjendan. Doduse, kod mene jos uvek nije deseti, jos uvek je deveti, ali racunam evropsko vreme. Dva datuma se racunaju kada nekog vise nema: datum rodjenja i datum smrti. Kada nekog vise nema medju nama, obicno se obelezava datum smrti. Ja zelim da proslavim datum Dadinog rodjenja. Hladni kamen ispod kojeg pociva moja jedina sestra je mesto gde je smesteno njeno ovozemaljsko telo. Njena lepota i dobrota nikada nisu prestali da zive.

Dada je dobila ime Radislava po nasem tati. On je bio u vreme njenog rodjenja odsutan i u pismima je slao predloge imena za novog clana porodice. Mojoj mami se ta imena nisu dopala.



Porodicna legenda kaze da je odluku donela baka Ceca: neka se zove Radislava po ocu Radislavu. Nije tesko zamisliti zasto je odmah dobila nadimak Dada. Kazu da sam je ja tako prozvala. Nas dve smo se uvek slatko smejale ovoj fotografiji.


Smejale smo se jer je zid iz nas bio zreo za krecenje, a nas dve zagrljene poziramo, kao da smo u nekom ekskluzivnom studiju.

Ovo je tipicna Dada: ja je se uvek secam takve. Spremne da se nasmeje, da bude vrag, da zraci jednom toplom energijom, i da ostavlja utisak nekoga na koga moze da se racuna i u dobru i u zlu.



Moja jedina seja Dada je ostavila ogromnu prazninu svojim odlaskom. I, evo, skoro ce cetrnaesta godina kako nije vise sa nama, ali ja je se jasno i cisto secam.

Ovu stranicu posvecujem mojim roditeljima. Mojim hrabrim i pozrtvovanim roditeljima.
Ponos i tuga su dve reci koje idu zajedno ovog dana - 10. februara.